As I reflect back over the past twenty-years, I relive events that make my heart smile. Many of these memories are of little girls-looking at themselves in a mirror just after I've transformed them into real-life Cinderellas. The sparkle in their eyes is so real and so wonderful to behold. They are telling themselves how beautiful they are. It is times like these that I know why I love what I do with all my heart.

How fortunate we are. As clowns and performers we are given so many opportunities to make an impact on a child's life. What better gift can there be than to build another person's self-esteem? One simple word of encouragement, a compliment, or a genuine smile means so much to a child. It does more than what we can even imagine for a child who is hurting.

Like most of us, children have their problems too. Their problems could stem from divorce, dysfunctional family situations, poverty or even abuse. Children are hurting right in front of us and we don't even know it. How many times have you made a special connection with a child only to find out later how much it really meant due to difficult circumstances you were totally unaware of? Let me tell you the following story that happened to me.

A few years ago I received a letter from a teenage girl. She was attending a church retreat and had been assigned to write a letter to someone who had touched her life. She told me that when she was younger other children would tease her because she was overweight. The only time she felt pretty, she said, was each time I painted her as a Princess and showed her face in the mirror. Then, as she looked at herself, I would asker her to say that she was beautiful. She wrote to thank me for helping her believe in herself. To this day, I still don't know who she was.

Through the years it has become a big part of my character to compliment each child I come in contact with. It's so much fun, and they always respond in such a delightful manner. Making them feel good about themselves is the best way to win their trust and friendship, especially if the compliment is delivered in a comic manner. Always remember to laugh "with" them but never "at" them. Just as a compliment can be so helpful, an insult can be devastating.

I would like to share some ways I use compliments to bring the best smile out of children. Appearance is very important to children, and life can be hard for children who look a little different. I make these special kids my best friends. Here are a few samples:

A boy wearing glasses:  "Wow! Look who's here .... It's Clark Kent! When he takes off his glasses he turns into Superman! .... OOPS! Wasn't supposed to tell anyone .... But do you have Superman pajamas under your shirt? Will you take me flying?"

Hugging an overweight child:  "Ooohhh .... You feel better than my teddy bear! You are the best hugger In the whole wide world!"

A child with a lot of freckles:  "Look at you!! Wow .... You really did it this time! May I share your beauty secret with everyone?" Then I explain, "When it is very sunny outside, she take a screen from the window, goes outside, lays on the grass, puts the screen over her face, and that is how she gets little suntans all over her face!" I compliment them for being so smart and ask if I can come over when they do it again!

A boy with braces:  "Did your mom and dad have to put those things on your teeth to keep the girls from kissing you? That's what happens when you're so handsome!"

A girl wearing a party dress:  "You look so beautiful! Are you getting married or something?"

A child with obviously beautiful eyes:  "I bet all the grown ups are always telling you that you have beautiful eyes. That's because they really are. Let me see, what color are they?" Then I ask if I can take a closer look. As I keep making a big fuss about them, I take out a magnifying glass and hold it real close to their face. The child sees my own eye amplified and their reaction is really funny.

Tuning in to their clothes choices:  "I'm always looking for ways to compliment the children any way I can. Many times I spot a child wearing something "in" or unusual, and I start asking lots of questions. I usually end it by saying that I wish I was their sister so "Mom could buy me one just like theirs!" I'll try to "trade" with them since "theirs" is always better than mine. A good example would be a child with red hair. I'll ask if they would like to trade their red hair for my green hair!

When children give you a gift:  "Listen to the children. Pay attention to the children. Often children give you something they made for you. Don't just take it, put it away and hurry on with you act. Stop and make a big fuss over the gift. Tell them you will be proud to hand it on your refrigerator. If you don't understand the picture, take a moment to ask for an explanation. You will be surprised at the things they come up with. No matter what, make sure they know you really appreciate what they've done for you.

Words are powerful. Be aware that anything you say to a young person could have an impact in their lives. Always treat children with respect and use words that build up and encourage self-esteem. Here are few of those words:

Terrific!  Fantastic!  Awesome!  Way to go!  Way to cool!  Double smart!  Incredible!  Beautiful!  Handsome!  The best!  Super-duper!  Jive Sporty!  Groovy!  You're the greatest!  Well done!  Do it again!  You're special!  Glad we're friends!  You're the best!  Cute!  You can do it!  Great job!  You make me smile!  WOW!

And don't forget the most meaningful one of all, "I love you!"